Living in regional Victoria in 2021, in and out of Covid lockdowns, our family of six were desperate to see our city friends for a camping trip in the spectacular bush setting of Sheepyard Flat, 40 minutes from Mansfield. Food prepared, ice in esky, trailer packed and ready for action! Ten minutes from departure, we are devastated to hear that Melbourne would be going back into lockdown at 5pm. Some frantic phone calls, with both sets of kids in tears, it is hopefully decided that we can reschedule until the next weekend. With the effort of packing and the ability to still travel, “bugger it” we say, and off we go for some solo family time – a lonely six!

We settle in, light the campfire, and enjoy our 2 night escape. When departing, with all the effort to be repeated again in just 5 days, my husband and I wonder about leaving a couple tents set up with some camp gear, secure behind a zip, but obvious that this family is soon to return to a favoured site, with easy access to the river, firepit and all important loo…. ready to surprise and delight our soon to be ‘released’ city friends. We ponder any risk, but decide it is totally worth it – there’s not a soul around, what could go wrong?

The week passes with more homeschooling and visitation limits, Mr Andrews declares city folk can travel by the weekend, and we are set for a fun time with mates desperate for peace & tranquility in the bush. Out we go – so much lighter this time, happy about the reduced set up – driving along the dirt tracks, excitement building, but with just the slightest concern about the state of our magical camp site.

Through the gate, up the slight rise before we can see our beautiful bush home. “Is that a car, a person, a dog? Is the man wearing jocks and gumboots”? We pull up, kids with wide eyes. I suggest to my husband that this is his to deal with… all I can think of is WTF! I can see that my master suite 2-man tent with a floral sheet on the mattress now has a porta-loo just outside, and quite a bit of luggage/crap inside. Our large dome tent has our table and chairs set up, but now with a real TV, mirrors, bags, lots of ‘pot plants’, and smoke billowing.

An older couple sitting outside their fancy Mercedes Sprinter about 60m away look enthralled with what is transpiring. I leave my husband to speak to our unexpected tenant, while I go to the Sprinter for a chat. “We’ve been wondering how this would unfold” they say excitedly. “He says he’s a bushman and he noted that all of this Kathmandu equipment was abandoned and he has claimed ownership. He’s quirky, but harmless”. My eyes are now wide and I nervously smirk, remembering that we were taking a chance. Kids still in the car, 2 mens hands are waving and pointing as they speak near our tents, before the jocks and gumboot wearer simply lay down on the grass exhausted. Where is my Chardonnay bottle, I wonder?

The kerfuffle continues, but the man acknowledges defeat. However, he tells us he is so tired from moving, he can’t possibly do any more moving today. Plus his dog is itchy and has a parasite. “Would we like to examine the dog poo to confirm?” I pass. Bushman confirms that this is indeed the best spot, and as part of the settlement, he demands the grassy knoll. We call the kids over, start emptying his belongings, and pull out the tightly held pegs, under the watchful eye of our tired new friend, and of course the couple upstream.

We relocate 50m away. The fire is lit, the Chardy is finally open and we await our city friends, ready to tell our campfire yarn. We laugh through the night, gloriously reconnecting with our friends in a way that is hard to explain in this mid-pandemic world we live in.

As the sun rises, we peer through the tent zippers to stunning rock walls of ferns, and hear the river going by. It’s going to be a great day.

But first, we ponder at the fresh human turd in the middle of our campsite… Did Bushman have the last word?

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