It’s Friday, 19th May 2023. It’s been nearly 4 years to the day since our first visit to the West MacDonnell Ranges. We’re both gasping out the airplane window and we’re quickly reminded how beautifully brutal, raw and unforgiving this country is.

“Please take nothing but photographs and memories and leave nothing but footprints (and a little bit of your soul….) Stay safe out there. This will possibly be the most gruelling trail you will ever encounter.”

As the race briefing comes to an end I stare at Ben and my emotions are morphed into a kaleidoscope – I’m spinning with excitement, fear, bravery, feeling both prepared and unprepared. The Ekistica 128km Ellery Monster is about to test us both, in vastly differently ways.

9am Saturday. We’re standing at Ellery Creek Big Hole and I take one last look at Ben. We’ve got this.

The first 30km feels dreamy – flowy single-track trails, laced with rich red rock and wildflowers. I’m in a trance, happily managing my nutrition as I make my way to Hugh Gorge.

It’s been 8 hours and I’ve finally arrived at the next aid station, Birthday Waterhole. What felt dreamy is starting to become anything but. I’ve lost all appetite and keeping fluid down is challenging.

Reminded that I’ve still got 83km to the finish line and another big climb before the next aid station, I force down a cup of noodles.

I’m spiraling and since my feet aren’t being rhythmic, I’ve started chanting “I can do hard things”, “I can do hard things”.. Brinkley Bluff is no bluff, let me tell you.

Shuffling into Standley Chasm and into the arms of Ben for the first time in 13 hours, I’m relieved. He’s my safe space. Everything laid out – blankets, jumpers, and a buffet of food. Usually a savage at a buffet, my body isn’t accepting anything. I’m freezing – have I mentioned it’s zero degrees, likely lower?

I’m ready to DNF but Ben, he believes in me. It’s 10pm and he’s walking me out of Standley Chasm, 65km from the finish line. He doesn’t know it, but we won’t see each other for another 12 hours.

It’s now 4:17am on Sunday. I’m approaching Mulga Camp aid station after a gruelling night on the High Route. I’ve sent a message to Ben on the Garmin Inreach “I think. I donee”.

The High Route. Gruelling doesn’t cut it. It honestly felt like hell only with opposing ferocious freezing winds, not to mention the rock scrambling and getting lost.

I’m delusional, the grass is moving, and shapes are appearing. I’m losing my mind, and a little bit of my soul, as warned.

With each step robbing me of hope and sapping my morale, I’ve finally arrived at Mulga Camp. Donned with a shiny silver cape, not the superhero type, multiple blankets and a hot water bottle I can hear the radio crackling. I’m borderline hypothermia. I’m withdrawing.

Ben has now joined the kaleidoscope of emotions. Believing in me on one hand and the guilty feeling of all the What IFs, and Should Haves on the other.

It’s a minimum two-hour 4WD drive up a treacherous creek bed and we’ve hired a Getz…. Spiraling, Ben waits on the side of the highway for radioed answers.

Ben can’t get to me. I’m not going out in the Ambo. I’ve just got to dig deep, keep pushing through the pain cave, and get it done, safely.

It’s been two hours since I arrived here at Mulga Camp.

As the sun breaks the horizon, I walk over to the volunteer, he kindly reminds me about my severe lack of nutrition. The Pass Go card will only be handed to me if I eat something.

7:00am. I’m leaving Mulga Camp with one last message to Ben – “I will walk to simp N leaving now”.

While a cheese toastie sloshes around in my stomach like the next victim ready to withdraw, daylight is bringing a sense of renewed hope as the sun casts its rays on my weary form.

Arriving at Simpsons Gap, I’m scanning the aid station desperately for Ben. Sinking into the chair and staring anxiously into his eyes I searched for strength.

After an arduous journey spanning 32 hours, 128 kilometers and over 4,000m of elevation gain on relentless terrain, I finally crossed the finish line overwhelmed with triumph, exhaustion, and profound satisfaction.

The result was not what I wanted but it was everything I did at the same time. I defied my limitations and discovered strength and endurance within me that I never knew existed.

Most of all, WE had done it. We had embraced discomfort on varying levels, and knowing I have a husband who is always in my corner, I’ll always be a winner.

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